If you're having trouble deciding whether your friend is a true friend, then your relationship must already be rocky. If you want to decide whether your friend is in the friendship for the right reasons, you have to pay attention to what they say, what they do, and how they make you feel. Just follow these easy tips and you'll know the truth.
1
See if your friend makes supportive comments. A true friend should make you feel needed, confident, and better about being alive. If your friend is always putting you down or making you feel worthless and never give you a kind word when you need it, then that friend is not true blue. If you want to know if your friend is a good friend, see if they make comments that encourage you.- See if your friend compliments you. If your friend gives you genuine compliments from everything from your new outfit to your work ethic, then that friend is a good friend. If you can't remember the last time your friend complimented you, you may have a problem.
- See if your friend encourages you. If your friend encourages you before a test, job interview, or even a first date, then that friend is a true friend. If your friend never gives you positive support, even when you need it, then you may have a problem.
- See if your friend is your cheerleader. Though your friend doesn't have to always cheer you on, if your friend is a good friend, then they should be your fan and should always root for you to succeed, no matter what you do
2 See if your friend listens to you. If your friend is a true friend, then she/he should take the time to listen to what you have to say. In a true friendship, both people should be sharing their thoughts and getting feedback. If you find that your friend is always talking about his/her problems, but is bored or distracted as soon as it's time for you to share yours, then you may have a false friend on your hands. Here are some signs that your friend needs to brush up on his/her listening skills:
- Notice how your friend reacts when you try to share something. If they nod, maintain eye contact, and support you, then they are a good friend. However, if they're looking around the room or checking their phone every time you talk for more than five minutes, then you have a bad friend on your hands.
- Notice if your friend remembers what you say. A good friend will remember what you tell them, especially if it's something important. Your friend might have looked like they were listening when you told them something, but if they have no recollection of the time you told them you were thinking of applying to law school or telling your close friend that you have feelings for them, then they were probably never listening to begin with.
- Notice who does most of the talking. In an ideal friendship, both friends should roughly share the same amount. If you feel like you are always the one listening to your friend's problems, then you're not getting your fair share of the friendship.
3
See if your friend communicates with you. Communication is key in any relationship, especially a friendship. If you and your friend are on the same page, then you should be open about your thoughts and feelings and maintain a level of honest and open dialogue. Here are some ways to see if you and your friend are communicating:- If you feel like you can easily share your thoughts and feelings with your friend. If your friend know what's going on in your life and you feel comfortable talking about it and being honest, you're in good hands. If you feel afraid to tell your friend how you feel because you're afraid they'll disapprove or be angry, then you're not communicating.
- If you feel like you know what your friend is thinking and feeling, then your communication is strong. If your friend surprises you with how they're feeling, or shares their feelings with everyone but you, then you have a problem.
- If you know how to have a mature talk when you're unhappy with how your friend acted, then you have strong communication. If you and your friend are comfortable with saying, "Hey, I was really hurt that you didn't come to my party the other night" and talking about it, then you have a strong friendship. No friendship is perfect and it's important to talk things out.
- If you never say anything when your friend upsets you because you think your friend will overreact or not listen, then you have a problem.
4See if your friend loves to gossip a little too much. If your so-called friend is a big gossip, then it's likely that your friend is gossiping about you when you're not around. Though everyone loves some juicy gossip occasionally, if you feel like your friend is always gossiping about someone or talking trash, then chances are, your "friend" will do the same as soon as your back is turned. Here are some ways to know if your friend's gossiping is out of contro
- If your friend talks about someone as soon as that person turns around, then the friend is probably not a good friend.
- If your friend routinely talks about people they claim to be their closest friends, then they must be doing it about you.
- If your friend is always saying negative things about everyone who isn't around, then this is a bad sign.
- If you know that your friend has gossiped or trash talked about you, especially on multiple occasions, then your friend is not a true friend.
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